Marie Antoinette has always been a fashion icon of mine but lately I’m seeing even more of her in other aspects of my life. The main adjective I would use to describe both of us is ‘misunderstood’.
Those who know very little about the historic Queen of France see her as selfish, indulgent, superficial, childish and uncaring. Most of these characteristics about Marie Antoinette are based on propaganda of the French Revolution. Most people hear the name Marie Antoinette and think, ‘Let them eat cake!’. She never said this. She was actually known to be a kind hearted person who would never have mocked her starving subjects.
I’ve mostly had my issues inside the LGBT community itself which really operates like an antiquated royal court. The Queens are on top of gay social life and represent the extravagance of the community with their over the top shows and caddy attitudes.
I’m not one of those queens. As I stated in another post, I never have performed simply to have a dollar bill pressed into my hand. I do everything I do for the sake of art. This seemed to conflict with most queens in my region who perform for cheap entertainment and to fill their own pockets, generally for drugs. Very few queens have ever been supportive of my idea of drag as an artform which can be customized to the queen. Many see me as unpolished and feel the need to give me unsolicited advice.
At first, their treatment toward me and their petty comments did hurt. After a while, I became more confidant with my own aesthetic and ideas and can now care less what they or anyone thinks. I have never altered what I do because of a comment, positive or negative.
Its insulting to suggest I do anything, whether it be malicious or not. I’m an artist, not an sideshow entertainer. I do what I feel is best and what I am inspired to do. If you enjoy it, I really appreciate it and if not… that is within your right.
I don’t want makeup advice or wig advice or costume advice. I know my makeup isn’t perfect and I really don’t want it to be. I’m a real person, not really a character. I’m not a persona. My makeup doesn’t need to be standard ‘drag queen’ makeup. I don’t need ‘clown white’ in the center of my lips to make them look fuller…they are full enough. I don’t need extreme eyebrows or carved out eyeshadow. I’m happy with my image, don’t try to turn me into your idea of a drag queen. I’m not a paper doll.
I’ve been literally pushed out of the local drag community because of my beliefs and rejection of criticism,almost blacklisted. Part of it is fear of something new and the other part is just ignorance. In a community who constantly complains about acceptance, I feel rejected more by the LGBT community than the general public. That’s sad.
In fact. I have had next to no issues with the general public. I go to ‘straight’ bars instead of hiding behind a rainbow flag flying shithole. People are interested. I find it far more rewarding to just be a new novelty than an expected thrill. Women love it and actually think my makeup is great, men think I’m beautiful, people in general find me interesting whether its positive or negative. Nobody feels the need to give me a negative opinion whether they agree with what I do or not. They mind their own business.
I would rather hear people mock me in the general public than in my own community and believe it or not…its much much rarer. Gay clubs exist much like organized religion, by installing fear in the minds of their patrons. Fear keeps the LGBT community locked in seclusion (in America) and keeps gay bars full, keeps people buying overpriced drinks and keeps a niche business alive. When, in reality, there is no reason to attend a gay exclusive bar or club.
There is so much drama in the LGBT world doesn’t exist outside of our own rainbow colored walls. Until the LGBT community starts to love each other, nothing will really change. You can’t change laws when you are too focused on the petty gossip and promiscuous sex of the reclusive gay scene.
Like Marie Antoinette, I am extravagant but it isn’t just for me. She represented France and I represent the community. I need to be someone who has a strong image but unlike the other queens, I don’t have harbored fears and hatred of the general public. I know there is good and bad in everything but mostly its just fear. Live your lives and be better representations of this community. Stop the drama and preaching fear. Get out and talk to people, let them know there is nothing really different about you as a human being. Under all the makeup and clothes, people know I’m a human being first of all and thats how I want to live…not a life in a niche. I am everyone’s queen, not just one for the community.