Met Gala 2013: Punk: Chaos to Couture, A Breakdown

So Baroque is Punk now apparently…or at least these stupid bitches think so. There is nothing punk about these clothes, nothing in the least. They are all modelled after styles of the establishment from 300+ years ago…Queens, what sense does that make. While they are some of my favorite clothes, they make no goddamn sense.

Katy Perry is the only one of these people who at least tried to make some contrived sense of her punk look…she brought up Joan of Arc. Although that works, a dress with a more armor appearance would have been better….Paco Rabanne ? She wasn’t a  Queen she was a peasant.

WORST DRESSED LIST

1, Jake Gyllenhall’s sister(spelling, I don’t give enough fucks to check it) looked like she could give a fuck less to be there. Why go if you aren’t going to put ANY effort into it. A plain simple fugly red dress that could be any dress from old navy.

2. Sarah Jessica Parker: Simply because she tries too hard. That and the baroque theme again, I get it…its Chaos to Couture but to me it still doesn’t read punk. Its very similar to Gaga’s McQueen outfit from the 2010 VMAs.  She was wearing custom plaid Louboutin boots…opposite of punk. Trying way too hard.

3. Jennifer Lawrence… just whoring out Dior as usual. Nothing punk in this whatsoever. They pick a theme for a reason, try doing it or just dont fucking go. Nobody really gives a fuck about you anyway so you should at least try. Dior gets dull after a while…Love the dress but makes no sense!!!!!!!!

BEST DRESSED

1. Anne Hathaway…can’t believe I’m saying it… I usually hate her clothes but she really looked punk-couture tonight. She got it. She said it was vintage (1992) from Valentino…but still. She looked great.

2. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley – Ok, Im nor sure this is uber punk but I like it. Its actually probably my favorite dress from the night.

3. Miley Cyrus looked flawlessly punk while still wearing real fashion…. Marc Jacobs column dress. I thought it was chainmail when she was walking up the steps but then its apparently fishnet? Can’treally tell but its fabulous.

Nobody really seemed to understand the theme or how to execute it. Lots of Givenchy on the scene tonight…dull. Its not punk to me. It can be styled punk with their noserings and their models but on a movie star its just a fancy dress.

Lots of missed opportunities tonight. Versace did an entire collection this year called VUNK…nobody seemed to be wearing that. Lots of archive McQueen would have worked…nowhere to be seen. Kinda boring. Sorry Vogue, Met and Moda Operandi.

ALSO the interviewers on Vogue’s Live Stream… model Hilary Rhoda and random gay Bill Norwich were incredibly rude and irreverent to every guest of the ball leaving many offended looking as they walked off. Most noticeable was Vivienne Westwood, the Queen of Punk who was speaking when basically interrupted and cut off by the random gay. They seemed so interested in sticking to script that they asked ‘who are you wearing…can you explain it’and then as the guest was explaining they cut them off mid sentence and said ‘thank you, have a great night goodbye’. Many people looked pissed. Miley Cyrus offered to shake Hilary Rhoda’s hand after the interview and was ignored. Dolce and Gabbana didn’t really get to speak…it was just a mess.

Royal Jewels For Sale

Well, I obviously love jewelry and right now Sotheby’s has some great pieces from the collections of royal and noble families. There are no less than six tiaras on sale, which is very rare. I posted photos of my favorite pieces that are on sell.

Favorite items are the large amethyst necklace…even though I hate purple. This necklace was actually apparently wore at the semi recent wedding of Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden. This is the royal version of being desperate and selling something at a pawn shop.

I also love the ruby skull with diamond snake ring….it is actually from a royal collection. Odd.

Hippo Journal, Spiked Sandals, Birkin-esque Bag and Lion Cuff

Here are some fun things I found that I love. Half of these items are from GoJane.com and the other half are available at ModCloth.com

Hippo Journal: (ModCloth) I was thrilled to see this. I’m not sure I’ve shared my love of hippos on this blog yet…but I love hippos.

Charcoal Birkin-esque Bag: (ModCloth) I found these lovely bags called ‘ Full Course Load Bag’ at ModCloth.com. Obviously the famed Hermes Birkin comes to mind as soon as you see it. The shape, hardware, lock etc. This particular one is 15″ but it comes in other colors in 9″ and 14″. Amazing bag for under 100 bucks.

Rainbow Spiked Sandals: (ModCloth) Generally I hate sandals and flat shoes in general but these caught my eye for some reason. Im assuming its the spikes. I usually dislike colored spikes though but I love these. Casual and still…edgy.

Eye Earrings: These are about 6 bucks and are in the shape of an eye which I obviously love. I really want these. I just dont have pierced ears…but they can be converted easily.

Lion Cuff: (GoJane) My favorite lion piece from GoJane at the moment. I like the simplicity of the cuff itself with the large 3d lion head.

Lion Belt: (GoJane) I love this belt, Pretty simple, just an elastic belt with large metal presence in the front. Very nice. Want.

Spiked ‘Tribal’ Cuff: (GoJane) I don’t see this as ‘tribal’ but I do love it. It reminds me of Art Deco although it isn’t and it spiked. I have a thing for black metal jewelry especially when theres some gold on it. Its pretty nice but not too cheap for cheap jewelry.

Uber Expensive Nice Things: Jewels At Sotheby’s

I don’t only like cheap jewelry from Forever21…I have always loved jewelry and I think my love for it comes from a family obsession. Sotheby’s has some fabulous baubles that I am obsessed with at the moment. I narrowed down a huge list of items to three. Can you guess which of these three items is my favourite before you read ahead? Guess!

1. 18 Carat Gold Aztec Motif Cuff: Well if you guessed this, you are correct. I am OBSESSED with this bracelet. You have no idea. Its from around 1930 and contains an amazing stylized Aztec warrior surrounded by diamonds and gems. Although the diamonds are natural…the rubies are synthetic… I found that somewhat strange. The estimate on this is 5-7 thousand dollars…. really not that bad.  I want it sooo goddamn bad. (Pleaaaaaase someone make a replica. Forever21, GoJane? Anyone??

2. Ruby and Diamond Corsage: This corsage mystifies me and its pretty rare something this magnificent comes up for auction. I really imagine a royal family will secretly pick this up and I’m guessing it with be the Danish Royals…they have similar items already. It is made up of diamonds and rubies (I’m guessing platinum but it wasn’t specified and its rather affordable so maybe plated silver which is common in fine jewels of the 19th and 18th centuries) At any rate…one of the rubies in this is also synthetic. (Guessing the largest one was taken out and sold separately prior) This corsage detaches into four seperate brooches which is amazing. Very versatile and fun/

3. Cartier Cat Face Choker: This is very on trend and yet its vintage. Its platinum and diamonds and I love it. Not much else to say about this.

I love all three but that Aztec bracelet will haunt me forever.

Must Have For Spring: Spiked Snapback

This is one trend I am getting obsessed with to be honest, spiked snapbacks. I  reallly reallly want one for spring. And of course, GoJane.com has them in either the above very detailed style with gold brim or a simpler version. I love this gold one. Get yours while they last! HERE

Slutty Cyrus Realness: Outfit Idea

So this outfit is inspired by my girl, Miley ‘Slutty’ Cyrus. She has been wearing a lot of these garter leggings recently. I’m kindof obsessed with them even though they are not my style at all. I really want to try them and perform Rihanna’s ‘S&M’ or something in them.

I like the bodysuit too, I would wear it under the leggings.

Obsessed with shoes with gold on them now too…why, I’m not sure I just like it!

Spring Fashion: Some Shit I Love Right Now!

So its been a while since my last post like this. Spring generally is not my favorite season for fashion….stores start getting more bare in anything but short sleeves and shorts…(in my head anyway) Its just not my forte… although I have found some lovely shit from GoJane.com that I love.

A. This dress is currently one of my favorite pieces at GoJane (dress wise). It really isn’t ‘me’ but for some reason I am obsessed with anything tropical at the moment… It has a mirrored print of parrots…why, I don’t know but it would be fun to wear for sure…(actually you could wear any and all of the accessories I picked with it….

B. This ‘Queen Bitch’ plate style necklace is something I’ve wanted since I saw it. Seems again as if it was made for me. I really personally want it, its pretty affordable as with everything at GoJane.com

C. I would pierce my ears for these oversized wing earrings. They have both a stud that pierces the ear lobe and a clip for he upper ear to secure it. They are amazing (come in silver or gold). Love em.

D. Maybe one of my favorite bracelets ever…a gold claw bracelet. Not much to say, its amazing. Very very me.

E. Metallic snakeskin pumps in the color of the year, emerald. I just really like them.

F. Eye sweater. Not much to say, you may need a sweater in early spring…especially if you live near me where its about 20 degrees. I love the mint color (comes in white or black as well) and the eye is obviously very me….very IllumiNaughty.

G. Just a big ole statement ring with rhinestones and assorted sea shells…its interesting.

You can get all of the items HERE

Papal Fashion on the Loggia: Francis Is Gonna Be Pretty Dull

When Pope Francis stepped onto the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica, I was immediately disappointed to see the lack of a red mozzetta (the red capelet thing) and embroidered stole. He also wore a bizarre plain cross around his neck. In short…he looked as if he was wearing a cheap pope costume.

When Benedict XVI arrived on the balcony, he was wearing the mozzetta…the plain white vestments are everyday attire and not the what I expected to see on such an important event.

Benedict XVI was also very fond of the velvet and ermine mozzetta, very regal. I doubt we will see Pope Francis sporting anything like this. He seems to be playing the humble card…which is irrelevant because at the end of the day he still lives in a palaces filled with jeweled crosses, great robes and golden thrones…not using them…to me at least, makes it seem even more pompous. They are there…use them.

Even John Paul II who was quite humble wore the mozzetta on ‘election day’… I just don’t get it.

I guess it was just a bit anticlimactic for me to see simple white robes. All of Pope Benedict XVI’s work to bring back traditional vestments like the fur lined mozzettas, ornate mantle clasps, jeweled crosses and jeweled mitres (pope hat) will probably fade away and this white robe is all we will be seeing. Not fun.

Does anyone pay attention to my blog anymore?

I haven’t been writing because the last few things I’ve posted have received very little views and attention…does anyone still pay attention?

Urban Decay Theodora Palette Review: Not Super Impressed

Ok, I actually have seen so much hubbub about this product that I decided to write a review. I actually got to use this palette because my beautiful drag daughter, Narcissus, bought it.

I personally don’t get the hype. Its just some neutrals and a couple of green shades. For me, they didn’t have the same color payoff as the MAC colors I’m used to…even with the eyeshadow primer that everyone raves about.

Here is the green I generally use by MAC.

I think this shade of green is actually much more mysterious and ‘magical’ than what the Urban Decay palette offers…

wearing the Theodora palette

Granted, we were drunk and in an extreme hurry when doing our makeup but I still think I looked nearly the same as I always look. The only part of the palette that I loved was the Theodora lip pencil…except it is really messy. The slightest touch and its all over your face.

(eyeshadows, Urban Decay Oz Theodora palette, lips, Theodora red lip pencil, blush Amour by Nars)

Pretty much the same as always… and if that is the case…what is the point?