Duck Dynasty vs Homosexuality: A response

Well, as we all know everyone is freaking out because some old bigot got fired or negative comments about homosexuality. People are screaming: WHAT ABOUT FREEDOM OF SPEECH??? Their one tooth wiggles during their ignorant arguments of Christians being persecuted… 

Well guess what… he exercised said freedom of speech and is paying the consequences for it. That freedom doesn’t give you carte blache to spew hatred and get away with it. Just like when you get to the pearly gates…you will pay the consequences. He should probably also consult his pastor about deception and being on a fake reality show while raking in the dough… Greed is also a sin, remember. 

Who cares about that… this is the quote that pissed me off. 

“For the sake of the Gospel, it was worth it… All you have to do is look at any society where there is no Jesus. I’ll give you four: Nazis, no Jesus. Look at their record. Uh, Shintos? They started this thing in Pearl Harbor. Any Jesus among them? None. Communists? None. Islamists? Zero. That’s 80 years of ideologies that have popped up where no Jesus was allowed among those four groups. Just look at the records as far as murder goes among those four groups.”

Christians are so ignorant or rather this breed of Christian that they seem to forget that Christianity is responsible for more death, torture and corruption over the past two centuries than any other religion or dictator combined. Jesus can be present and do some pretty fucked up shit and since h gave four lovely examples…so will I. Here you go Mr. Robertson.

 

1. Something called the Spanish Inquisition…dont know what it is, google it. Was Jesus among them? Yep.

 

2. The Crusades..,. Killing ‘Islamists’ in Jesus holy name in order to get back some sandy land and pillage it to return it back to teh Cathedrals of Europe. Jesus among them? Yep, right on their flags.

 

3. Spanish Colonization of the New World… the Holy Catholic Empire of Spain once sent over a few Christian conquistadores and colonized this beautiful new world…wiping out entire civilizations in Jesus’ name. Among them, yes.

 

4. Salem With Trials… innocent girls were burned alive because of your religious cult’s ignorance. Jesus was among that crowd too…

 

Jesus has been among more brutal murder and hate than anyone else. So stop using your bronze age goat herder mentalities and thinking A&E owes you a show. You are disgusting human beings and yes… were I in power, I would feed you to the lions. Your a waste of humanity.

 

 

 

A Single Gal’s Guide to New Year’s Eve

I haven’t posted in a while and I’m going to skip through the cheesetastic Christmas posts and go straight to New Year’s. New Year’s Eve can be a stressful time to plan for a single girl…especially if said single girl ate her feelings during the previous two major holidays. Fear not, one has an easy to follow guide for you.

First, you need to find out where to go. Don’t go to a friend’s house party… people there are likely to be taken or you may already know them. You need to go out to a public party at a nightclub or hotel, whichever looks most promising. Once you’ve figured out where to go, plan your outfit. You should look as sexy as possible without looking slutty, don’t degrade yourself because you are desperate…

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A good floor length gown is a plus but don’t get a sparkly prom looking mess. This dress I’ve chosen is quite lovely, its under 200 bucks and can be acquired here. You shouldn’t go overboard on accessories either, I’d suggest a nice but simple statement necklace. The triple row one above is about a hundred bucks from Anne Taylor. You could opt for a nice pair of earrings, whatever…I just like necklaces. Men also love a lady’s neck and necklaces draw attention to that area…soooo. Whatever you do, do not wear a ring, at all…make sure your single status is obvious. A nice red lip will also make you look glamorous, mysterious and sexy. Try it. Don’t take that ready-to-bust purse into the party…just take the essentials in a nice evening clutch. Now, obviously the one I chose is Alexander McQueen but just get a damn clutch. I would wear sexy but comfortable shoes…not too high. Make sure you don’t have to walk like Bambi after a few minutes. I chose a low pair of nude Louboutins… again avoid prom shoes. Wear a seductive perfume, just a few sprays though…don’t overkill it and make him sneeze. I chose Flowerbomb… I like it right now. You may also notice the little notepad: take a small notepad with your number pre-written on all the pages in your clutch. Pass out generously.

Don’t be too nervous. Try to have fun and mingle, eventually some gentlemens will buy you a drink. Doing that, he will also likely want to take you home with him afterward (OH yeah, take a taxi for that reason so you don’t have to leave the Lexus your daddy paid for in a club parking lot where its likely to get broken into by teenage vandals).

You should also bring a small tote an coat-check it with any coat you may wear. When your date is paying his tab, retrieve your coat and tote. You will need just a few essential items.

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Make sure the tote isn’t too luggage like or you may freak out your gentlemens. Make it look as purselike as possible. I like this one from Givenchy. It is fashionable and trendy and yet its clever…it shows how ragingly horny you is. Ruff. Inside have something to wear tomorrow…you are gonna luck fucktarded doing the walk of shame in a a gown with no makeup. Your favorite Starbucks homo is  definitely going to judge you. I would just pack a sweater dress; they are casual and take up far less room than jeans and a shirt. They also look nicer. A pair of nice sunglasses is also key, obvious reasons apply. These are from Versace. Lastly, some Advil liqui-gels or any fast acting medicine for headache relief. That hangover aint gonna cure itself after he wakes up at 9:00am using the excuse that he has to go spend time with his grandma….his subtle hint for you to get your ass out of there. Happy New Year.

Hunger In America: A Huge Problem, Think About It this Thanksgiving

I just finished watching A Place At The Table, a documentary about the reality of hunger in the United States. More than 50 million people in America go hungry or roughly 1 in 6 people. In this country, its unacceptable. 

 

It made me think of my own life and how privileged I am. My biggest concerns are usually getting a new fashionable pair of shoes or the next extravagant piece of jewelry. And although I call myself the Marie Antoinette of the LGBT community, I’m not going to turn a blind eye to the issue of hunger.

 

Personally, for me, its pretty hard to relate to going hungry. The closest I can relate is being a college student and sometimes not having enough food or eating Ramen more than once a week. The difference is, all I had to go was go raid my family’s cabinet. Not everyone has that option.

 

The government doesn’t do enough for the hungry. The farm system and the Department of Agriculture aids farmers that make wheat, corn, etc… foods that are eventually processed and turned into cheap foods that have caused this country to become obese. In some areas, fresh fruit and vegetables aren’t even an option. They aren’t delivered to poor urban areas or places in the middle of nowhere because it isn’t worth the truckers time to do so. Pathetic.

 

The Food Stamp program is also insufficient, people have to try to live on about 3.00 a day. Can you do that? I know that on the weekends my best friend and I spend more than that on iced tea. Some people have to feed their entire family on that. Even with food stamps, healthy foods are far from affordable which leads to buying canned ravioli and sugary cereal and still the food stamps run out before the end of the month. 

It really isn’t solely up to the government to make sure people don’t go hungry. It is up to all of us, we can all make sure that it doesn’t happen. Instead of going to Starbucks for a coffee that costs more than school lunches for an entire week, donate it to a food program or buy non-perishable foods for a food bank. Instead of letting the random canned foods in your cupboards expire, clean them out and take what you aren’t going to use to the food bank… 

 

Everyone can make a difference. Just try it, once a month at least take one superficial thing that you normally do and put that money towards this cause. Let your nails have a break from acrylics…give that 40 bucks to a local food program. Let your roots show once. Buy an outfit to wear from a thrift store and give the difference of what you would have spent at Urban Outfitters to a good cause. Little changes can make a big impact.

Stop being so selfish, there are so many of us that are very fortunate. Stop protesting the 1 percent…because you are the 82 percent that have a lot more than the 17 percent going hungry. The 82 percent are wealthier than the 95 percent of the African continent… somewhere you are the 1 percent. Think about it, stop pretending not to notice and actually do something.

Th LGBT community are actually very at risk at being hungry. Especially the LGBT youth. Often, they are too ashamed or afraid to ask for help at food banks, churches etc, because of the stigma of being LGBT. They also generally don’t qualify for Food stamps. If you are LGBT and hungry, don’t be afraid or ashamed. Ask for help, go to churches even if you don’t believe what they believe. They are there to help anyone…and have to, they receive a tax exempt status for doing so. 

But… before you buy your next pair of fancy shoes or do a benefit show for a drag pageant…think about someone else.

 

I’m the Marie Antoinette of the LGBT Community

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Marie Antoinette has always been a fashion icon of mine but lately I’m seeing even more of her in other aspects of my life. The main adjective I would use to describe both of us is ‘misunderstood’.

Those who know very little about the historic Queen of France see her as selfish, indulgent, superficial, childish and uncaring. Most of these characteristics about Marie Antoinette are based on propaganda of the French Revolution. Most people hear the name Marie Antoinette and think, ‘Let them eat cake!’. She never said this. She was actually known to be a kind hearted person who would never have mocked her starving subjects. 

I’ve mostly had my issues inside the LGBT community itself which really operates like an antiquated royal court. The Queens are on top of gay social life and represent the extravagance of the community with their over the top shows and caddy attitudes.

 

I’m not one of those queens. As I stated in another post, I never have performed simply to have a dollar bill pressed into my hand. I do everything I do for the sake of art. This seemed to conflict with most queens in my region who perform for cheap entertainment and to fill their own pockets, generally for drugs.  Very few queens have ever been supportive of my idea of drag as an artform which can be customized to the queen. Many see me as unpolished and feel the need to give me unsolicited advice.

At first, their treatment toward me and their petty comments did hurt. After a while, I became more confidant with my own aesthetic and ideas and can now care less what they or anyone thinks. I have never altered what I do because of a comment, positive or negative.

Its insulting to suggest I do anything, whether it be malicious or not. I’m an artist, not an sideshow entertainer. I do what I feel is best and what I am inspired to do. If you enjoy it, I really appreciate it and if not… that is within your right.

 

I don’t want makeup advice or wig advice or costume advice. I know my makeup isn’t perfect and I really don’t want it to be. I’m a real person, not really a character. I’m not a persona. My makeup doesn’t need to be standard ‘drag queen’ makeup. I don’t need ‘clown white’ in the center of my lips to make them look fuller…they are full enough. I don’t need  extreme eyebrows or carved out eyeshadow. I’m happy with my image, don’t try to turn me into your idea of a drag queen. I’m not a paper doll.

 

I’ve been literally pushed out of the local drag community because of my beliefs and rejection of criticism,almost blacklisted. Part of it is fear of something new and the other part is just ignorance. In a community who constantly complains about acceptance, I feel rejected more by the LGBT community than the general public. That’s sad.

 

In fact. I have had next to no issues with the general public. I go to ‘straight’ bars instead of hiding behind a rainbow flag flying shithole. People are interested. I find it far more rewarding to just be a new novelty than an expected thrill. Women love it and actually think my makeup is great, men think I’m beautiful, people in general find me interesting whether its positive or negative. Nobody feels the need to give me a negative opinion whether they agree with what I do or not. They mind their own business.

 

I would rather hear people mock me in the general public than in my own community and believe it or not…its much much rarer. Gay clubs exist much like organized religion, by installing fear in the minds of their patrons. Fear keeps the LGBT community locked in seclusion (in America) and keeps gay bars full, keeps people buying overpriced drinks and keeps a niche business alive. When, in reality, there is no reason to attend a gay exclusive bar or club. 

 

There is so much drama in the LGBT world doesn’t exist outside of our own rainbow colored walls. Until the LGBT community starts to love each other, nothing will really change. You can’t change laws when you are too focused on the petty gossip and promiscuous sex of the reclusive gay scene. 

 

Like Marie Antoinette, I am extravagant but it isn’t just for me. She represented France and I represent the community. I need to be someone who has a strong image but unlike the other queens, I don’t have harbored fears and hatred of the general public. I know there is good and bad in everything but mostly its just fear. Live your lives and be better representations of this community. Stop the drama and preaching fear. Get out and talk to people, let them know there is nothing really different about you as a human being. Under all the makeup and clothes, people know I’m a human being first of all and thats how I want to live…not a life in a niche. I am everyone’s queen, not just one for the community.

The Drag Scene Is Really In Desperate Need of New Life and Standards

What you see on RuPaul’s Drag Race is as far from a realistic representation of the community as My Little Pony is from the equestrian world.  It’s watered down and made to be as family friendly as possible, although clearly it is not. Now, drag is getting huge in the world but not much seems to be changing outside of Hollywood.

First of all, the drag scene is littered with drugs. It isn’t surprising to see a queen crushing up a pain pill and snorting it at her crusty dressing table or doing cheap cocaine in the bathrooms. Many many queens don’t have real lives and just live to get high and make cheesy costumes while tweaking out. Even some of RuPaul’s crowned queens sometimes can’t afford their rent due to their coke habit.

This isn’t what I’m into and not how I want to be represented. Now, I am not trying to be holier than thou, I’ve experimented with a few things but I’ve never had a problem. Drugs have never played a role in my everyday life. I smoke cigarettes and I drink but that’s it. And yet, I’m a queen that is considered controversial. Well, bitches, the truth is out.

Drag queens are all narcissistic and I am no different. While being a narcissist, I don’t take it to unhealthy levels. I appreciate the few people I have to help me, namely my best friend and Creative Director Scottie Gregg. I also appreciate the small fanbase that I do have, they aren’t just there to give press dollars into my palm. I consider most of them friends and I’m never too busy to interact with them. I talk to people who I care about, not just the ones who I think are going to give me a five or ten dollar bill. Although, a great percentage of my life does revolve around me, I do recognize it is a team effort and without the people that do love me, I am nothing.

 

Although I do recognize and care about my public, I don’t base what I do around their desires and what they want. I try to give them what I think they need, whether it be social commentary or something they haven’t thought about…. never just a tired old pop song and a death drop or high kick. What is the actual fucking point of doing that? I’m not a Las Vegas tourist act, I’m a real artist and one who struggles. If I changed myself to be what most of you want me to be, I probably would be famous but I’ll never change for public perception.

 

To those of you who love me, big things will come. To those who don’t understand me, or even try…fuck you. I don’t need your validation and don’t even want it. I only care about those who already get it. I have no time to let you catch up.

 

 

6 BeautyTips To Cover Pesky Rosacea

One saw a lovely article by the amazing journalists at Huffington Post in the wee hours of this morning and one thought to oneself,” I imagine trying to figure out how to cover rosacea is a topic of interest that hasn’t been breached yet.” Then one decided to tackle this without reading their article.

1. Concealer: Any concealer would probably do the trick but a great conceealer for brightening the skin is BOING by Benefit. It costs a pretty penny but will get that rosyness outta dem cheeks mighty fine.

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2.  DermaBlend Foundation:

Lord knows nobody has ever heard of this brand before. Not only can it cover your mild or even severe rosy cheeks, but it can also cover intense acne, acne scars, tattoos and more! Also a good DRAG foundation (a tip given to me by an ole tranny whose boyfriend I stole for a hot minute. Not my fault. I considered her a friend but…well thats another story, comment if you’d like juicy deets)

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3. More Concealer

Well, I don’t know why but concealer seems to be a good idea when you are trying to conceal something. Picture it, Sicily 1943, I was standing at a pharmacy with my rosy cheeks when a local witchdoctor gave me this magical item from America, Revlon concealer.

Actually this time we are opting for a Smashbox Concealer, which tend to be heavy duty. Concealers come in different color correcting colors. Green to get rid of redness, peach or salmon for dark circles or five o’clock shadows and a lavender color for…idk, it does something.  Search on HuffPost.

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4.  Even More Concealer:

This one by MAC is pretty dang good. Lets face it, concealers are great for rosacea. Your best bet is either a thicker or higher coverage one and/or a green color correcting one.

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5. Powder:

After using your concealer and/or foundation using a heavy duty powder is most likely a great idea to keep it from smudging away and showing those rosy cheeks. A good powder, recommended by yours truly and a beauty guru who wears too much makeup (her name sounds like a Starbucks drink) Coty Powder since 1935! A favorite of drag queens and aging beauties. Not only will this cover your rosacea (with concealer or foundation) it will leave your skin feeling silky smooth and fully matte…all day.

I suggest the shade TRANSLUCENT EXTRA COVERAGE for everyone)

Coty Airspun Face Powder, Light/Medium Neutral

6. BLUSH:
After you finish covering that pesky rosacea up… do what almost any beauty guru or makeup artist will tell you and add some blush to those cheeks for a rosy glow.  I suggest Tarte’s fine line of Amazonian Clay blushes. The best in the business.

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Geez, that sure did feel like rocket science I spewed out here. I deserve a Pulitzer or whatever reporters get. Maybe even the Nobel!!!!

Stop writing about shit that we already know!

The CW’s “REIGN” Review

I was excited when I first read about the CW’s  project about the early life of Mary Stuart while she lived in France. I’ve always found Mary, Queen of Scots to be a very interesting figure. Not only her but a couple of my other fave’s are featured in the show like Catherine de Medici and Diane de Poitiers.

I’m only halfway through the first episode and I am not impressed by any means. First of all, the costumes are far too fantasy, Lord of the Ring’s ish and typical Medieval looking. I know its the CW but still. Its so drab and dark compared to say…The Borgias.  The hair really irritates me, long hair with braids. More of a gypsy look than a French Royal court… ugh.

Secondly, the ‘castle’ is very very cheesy. The French Court at the time resided at Fontainebleau, if I’m not mistaken. Its a gorgeous palace and much more ornate than the dark tavern look in this show. Seeing Catherine de Medici drinking from a pewter cup in a kitchen is a disturbing site to me.

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ImageIt is the palace used in Lana Del Rey’s ‘Born To Die’ video. Much more colorful and opulent. Now I know its the CW and I didn’t expect accuracy but I would rather see it more ornate and colorful than yellow and brown.

My biggest bitchfit is going to be about Diane de Potiers though I think. If she is portrayed as a bitchy whore in this show, I’m not going to be thrilled. She was a very intelligent and a true Renaissance lady. She mostly wore black and white and I highly doubt they will pick up on that and make her the fashion icon she was.

Its just a hodgepodge of nonsense really. Catherine de Medici’s hair, looks great in the front but the Marie Antoinette curls down the back annoy me. The Victorian looking bathtub…its just pure shit.

Caligula gives REIGN one and a half turds out of five. Image

Thrift vs Retail

Thrifting is somewhat of a passion of mine however it isn’t always all its cracked up to be in regards to saving money. There are a couple of main reasons, I’ve personally encountered making thrifting less and less desirable.

First, you buy shit you don’t need. Picture it… you see a primary blue and yellow polka dot top with giant peter pan collar from the 80′s and think to yourself, ‘Gee, that might come in handy one day.’ Say this is a local charity thrift shop, this fantastiche (as Bruno may say) find may cost you a dollar. HOWEVER, should this be at Goodwill it could cost you around six bucks. Is it worth it? HELL NO. Not really, when you can go to Plato’s Closet and get a modern top originally from Forever 21 or Express for the same price. When purchasing things like this, unless you already have a reason for needing it, think about how many times you will actually wear it and factor in price per wear…

Now, this particular item is actually from experience. I didn’t buy it (bad example sort of because I really wish I would have bought it because I want to be a sexy clown for Halloween but I digress) because I knew I wouldn’t wear it very often and it just wasn’t worth the 6 bucks.

Another common mistake at thrift stores is not trying things on. ‘Vintage’ clothes often are cut differently and may pose a problem when you try to fit your giant man shoulders in that awesome 50′s dress  when you get home.  Then you don’t return it because it was only five bucks. Well five bucks wasted is worse than 25 bucks retail that you will actually use.
The biggest let down, for me, in thrifting these days is the internet. Vintage clothing websites and in particular sites like etsy and ebay have ruined thrifting. People now overprice every old piece of shit, call it ‘vintage’ and put it online to sell rather than donating to a thrift store. This blows. Finding a great item in a thrift store gets more and more rare and will continue to so. Thrifting is dead, we must revolt!

(Also, I mostly fall into the buying shit you don’t and could never possibly need like a tiny blue ceramic Dutch shoe, or a 1970′s aerobics vinyl because it has a lady that looks like a fugly drag queen you know, or a tiny hat, or a pair of strawberry shorcake gloves, a fairy princess wand, old lady bifocals, the list goes on and on…)

Time For a New Watch!

ImageIt’s hard to believe that watches have existed for so long and even harder to believe that some of the finest watch companies have been making masterful timepieces since before the middle of the 19th century.

Not many people know this but I was once obsessed with watches and collected them. I loved all watches from cheap fashion watches to high end watches that I really shouldn’t have been buying at age 18.

My fascination with watches began after noticing the little crown logo inside of my grandather’s Rolex as a child. It fascinated me. One  day, I took one of my grandfather’s watches from his dresser and decided I wanted to take the little crown out. I used a compass (the thing used to make circles with a pointy end) and stabbed at the crystal face of the watch. I never got the crown out…and I got in a ton of trouble!

Fortunately, my grandfather has a sense of humor and for my 16th birthday he presented me with a vintage 1970′s gold Rolex Oyster Perpetual Date-Just Presidential Chromometer… say that ten times fast!!! Yes, I was a lucky child. It was partly because I really wanted one and also a sentimental throwback moment to my rowdy childhood and my grandfather’s unconditional love. He gave me a Rolex, y’all!  The card attached, from Hallmark simply was inscribed, ‘Happy Birthday. If you want to tear the crown off of the back of the card, it’s fine it was only five dollars. THE CARD, not the watch!’  

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Sadly, my Rolex was later stolen. I continued to collect watches throughout my early twenties and actually spent most of my money on them. The prize of my collection was a vintage Patek Philippe that I loved. I later was forced to sell it to pay off some debts. I haven’t used a watch since.

I later felt as a lady that wearing a watch seemed very pedestrian and ‘common’. Ladies who lunch don’t work…theres no need for a watch. I literally used this logic not to buy another watch although one of my fashion icons, the Duchess of Windsor had lovely watches.

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Of course, this watch, which sold at auction was one of the many romantic gifts the Duke of Windsor gave to her. Inscribed under the dial and sundial is the message: “No excuse for going in the wrong direction Easter 1939.” That was actually the year they settled down in a house in Paris, Villa Windsor.

I’ve decided I won’t wear a watch until I receive one as a gift from someone special, when my heart begins to tick again. Well, if I could afford a beautiful luxury watch… perhaps a Cartier Pasha, I would get it myself!

Even though we all have easy access to time on our smartphones and laptops, a watch is a timeless luxury and can make memories that will last a lifetime. But, my advice on watches is to invest in quality instead of fashionable trendy watches. Buy one that you can wear for a lifetime.